Update!

Quick update. I haven't written much since school's out for a week, and I normally only write at school. Pretty much trying to type and edit the first chapter, since I want to give you guys that sneak peak. I've been finding it difficult to get a true grasp of Erik's personality. I know he's supposed to be ruthless, and I am making him that way, but it's extremely hard because of the plot. He has to be a bit submissive into this whole ordeal, but at the same time that's out of character for him. I want him to be as absolutely in character as possible, with only a few artistic liberties.

How do you guys feel about this passage? It's Erik contemplating, and finally telling Aria, the angel of music, that he'll go on this quest of hers. Is it in character to you? Or do you think he should be a bit more hesitant and regretful? Is there ANYTHING that you find wrong with it?

         Erik could not speak. He could not believe such a thing. But the magic he witnessed, the face, held his heart. His heart screamed to him that he was meant to do this. His mind did not wish to be broken again. But the heart doesn't take such things into account.
         Hesitantly, as he silently disapproved, he took Aria by the hands (though she had to place them in his, for he passed through hers).  He grumbled inwardly, rolling his eyes in his mind.
         "I am a gentleman. I was raised as such, no matter how much my mother revolted at the sight of me," he flinched at the terrible memories that flashed in his head. He blinked quickly to rid himself of them. "As a gentleman I am inclined to accept your... Er... His offer." Erik grimaced as he mentioned the God he was not so sure he believed in. "I don't know how I can possibly be 'saved' as you claim, but for your sake, Mademoiselle, I shall indeed strive to fulfill the requirements you've placed upon me."


So? What do you think? Thoughts?


Also, I need a bit of help. I'm not quite sure on the relationship between the Persian and Darius, his servant, and their relationship plays a crucial role in the second chapter, and perhaps later on. Does anyone know anything about this? I mean, does Daroga treat Darius like a slave, or is he a kind master? MUCHO IMPORTANTE!


Ta ta for now! 


EDIT: Also, how do you feel about, once the first chapter is 100% complete, I format it like a real book and have it up for sale for say... 1-2 dollars? Or just only a few people will get the full chapter, if they've helped me out with plotting and character study?